Bitches Be Trippin

As a female and avid music listener I felt it was high time I jumped up and started complaining about both females and music. I am going to focus this grandma style rant on two subjects: Lana Del Rey and MIA. I know, I know, how creative, a blog post about two living memes. However, I feel that these two women accurately illustrate some overarching and seriously irritating points about female music culture.

First off, Lana Del Rey. I first saw her on Pitchfork. My reaction was pretty basic, "she's pretty, her lips look painful, how can she sing with such painful lips?" Then I watched her video and thought, "oh, she can't sing, probably because of her painful lips." Then I hopped over to HRO. They quickly jumped on the fact that she isn't really named LDR and that her lips used to be unpuffy. Not really a huge surprise.

What irked me most was the fact that she was a rich white girl who changed her name to Lana Del  Rey, and billed herself as a "gansta Nancy Sinatra," and Pitchfork mentioned her trailer park aesthetic. As white trash this made me a little McMad. I was upset that some focus group took a girl whose dad made millions and produced a super pretty Best Coast.  I was also irked that here we have this rich white girl and she uses a Hispanic name and wears giant gold jewelry, and big fake nails like a homegirl.

So, here we have some frankenstein monster of Best Coast and Gwen Stefani, and the worst part is... they (record executives) didn't take the time to each her to sing or preform. I love me some trashy pop, Britney Spear's "Toxic" is delicious. I also know that Britney is manufactured down to the slightest wink, but I am okay with that because she and the company did it well.

Indie throw back chick not exuding sexuality

Add edgy hot rock edge

Sum less than its parts

 Furthermore, I think that Kirsten Wiig's impersonation (while funny) illustrated that most people are criticizing LDR for the wrong reasons. The fact that she is weird is not offensive, I love weird, strange, bizarre the whole gamete. What is offensive is her entire lack feminist slant. Her songs hinge on making a male figure happy. Her entire persona was fashioned to give a large male hipster crowd a boner, while telling the young female hipster that being submissive is preferred. Finally, I take um bridge with her comparison with Nancy Sinatra. This is Nancy Sinatra....

I believe she is saying, "these boot were made for walking." Translated, if you don't stop playing your fucking video games I am outta here. The manufactured quality of LDR seems vaguely familiar now that I think about it... wait....

Yup... this makes sense.... LDR is a fembot minus the artillery. Making her a slightly more functional blow up doll which croons.

Now on to part B, or part 2, this has been a long post and I forget what I am talking about. Anyway. MIA has had a pretty big last couple of weeks. She dropped an awesome music video, was in the slightly less awesome Madonna music video, and oh right she preformed at the SuperBowl. Now when I first heard about her playing the SuperBowl I rolled my eyes. I mean playing the biggest event for the lowest denomination of America... The very people you claim to despise? But then she righted the assumptions. MIA has always had the tack and the political zealotry of a 12 year old, so I am not sure why anyone is surprised. I for one was much more distracted by the writhing of the scanitily clad back up dancers to even notice being flipped off.

*Legs open, vag up

Why weren't the good, morally upstanding SuperBowl viewers loosing there shit over a provacative dance? Well I have a couple of theories. First off, the dancer is submissive and doing her gesture to please the viewer. The dancer is on her back, a good place for any lady. Second, MIA's gesture is just about the opposite. She is leaning forward, being aggressive, telling us she doesn't give a shit. Mostly though she isn't doing this for our entertainment and that is really what is offensive (not to mention that it is a minority woman not entertaining us).

Really that is what separates MIA and LDR, the desire to entertain. Both women are living meme machines and crave internet attention. The difference is the manner in which both women go through to get the attention. LDR stays on the path of the back up dancer: pretty, submissive, meant purely to reaffirm existing values about women. MIA, while immature and oft misinformed, is at least trying to form an alternate opinion of women. Her Bad Girls music video address the issue of Saudi women not being able to drive, whether she really has any depth to this argument is a moot point. She is at least taking steps away from a formulated image of women. And I think that is why I can so easily accept MIA, Gwen Stefani, and Best Coast, they give an alteration image of women, where as LDR gives me what a male executive expects.

Pictures from:

http://forums.superherohype.com/showthread.php?t=367909

http://thefashionreview.wordpress.com/2009/04/09/our-love-is-rock-steady/

http://www.last.fm/music/Best+Coast/+images/42277125

http://insidetv.ew.com/2012/02/05/middle-finger-super-bowl-photo/

x

Grace Shearrer's Non-Objective End-of-Year 2011 List of Inspiring/Comical/Entertaining/Motivational/Disgusting/Tasty Events, People, and Objects

2011 is like the ugly step child to 2010. The best of lists can't rely on a decade's worth of material, it technically isn't an election year, still no Animal Collective album (and the Radiohead sucked) and the economy blows. So, here is a list of what amused me in the first year of the second decade of the 21 century.

1. Bacon Wrapped Jalepeno Poppers
A tiny football of cream chee encased in a jalapeno and gently enveloped by the tastiest part of the pig... this is what i stopped being a vegetarian for, that and so people will stop assuming I am a hippie.

2. Yuck
BEST ALBUM OF THE YEAR BITCHES!

3. The Rapture and subsequent non-Rapture
First, I was really excited for the rapture. As a nonrapturee I was planning on more space to myself when the righteous were taken. However, due to lack of rapture, I am glad I was saved from a fiery pit. Everyone wins!

4. Hacky Sac
Preferred pastime of the gods.  Demands every ounce of coordination, agility, strength, cardiovascular endurance and concentration the human body can muster.  Also, you can do it drunk. Though not helping my nonhippie cred.....

5. AA+ Credit Rating
The US was down graded from a AAA+ credit rating to the AA+ credit rating. Personally, I am proud of the US for embracing its white trash roots and defaulting on creditors. I can only hope that we all get that Trans Am up on blocks in the yard now to celebrate.

6. Anonymous
They are like cyber batman!

7. US Ambassador to Tunisa

Tunisa: FUCK YA!!!

8. Repeal of DADT/ Troop withdrawal from Iraq
This is really just a win for me. First, I love military apparel, I am hoping this inspires more trench coats, brass buttons, and olive green. Second, I can now go to recruiting stations to get a shopping buddy... right?
Withdrawal from Iraq seems pretty straight (hee hee pun) forward: invasions of other countries= bad.
 
9. Season 4 of Breaking Bad
Sublist: Best Parts of season 4 Breaking Bad
              a) Half blown up Gus
              b) Walt poisoned Brock O_______o
              c) Tip of Mike's ear falls off
              d) "I WILL KILL YOUR INFANT DAUGHTER!!!!!"

10. GOP candidates
The republican party which I assume is against cable has made the best reality TV show this year. Eight batshit insane attention whores argue publicly, air dirty laundry, and are slowly voted off by the American public. Sadly, the winner gets to rule America... what else is on?

HM. Nyan Cat

                                                               I like pop tarts and kitties
        Honey Badger

 

"Look at that sleepy fuck"

I don't expect you to care. But I do expect you to look.

Misanthropic Graphite: Isolative depression continually shoves me through the doors of creativity. Historically when my chemical balance is in flux, the only way to pop the pimple of misanthropy is to take pen to paper. These are a small collection of some my old doodles and live drawing sketches.

The best is yet to come... but these are pretty good

The year is half way over. Yes, I know crazy right? You have less than 6 months now to buy my birthday gift (just a friendly reminder). What is almost as notable, is the fact that list making can once again commence! While the end of the year list is always more definitive, I think this list sums up my last 6 months.

The dub step numbness of James Blake (though to be honest I liked the CMYK EP better... hipster as hell... I digress) moves into the still vaguely sad folk of Fleet Foxes, and Okkervil River comes in with a familiar if not more powerful sound.

I realize that Cloud Nothings are pretty high on my list for sounding like they just figured out they were playing instruments, but the playground lyrics and overall childishness really gets me. I think Cut Copy owes most of their stature on this list due to summer (really find me a more summery album... can't be done.... not this year). Starfucker is awesome for their crisp synth lines, reminiscence of 2008 MGMT (what can I say that was a really fun summer).

Lykke Li halts her former preciousness. She maintains a kind of sexiness, however upon listening maintains a vulnerability I think most ladies can relate (juxtapose "Get Some" and "Jerome"). I really wanted to make Cults number one, for the last week they have been in my book. They make 60 pop revivalism just swell (sorry Tennis, Dum Dum Girls they perfected yo sound).

The top two spots were tough.

Yuck takes shoegaze with a grungier appeal (See: Sunday) combining two of my favorite things, being maudlin and flannel.

Finally, the number one spot. If only I was 16 again, I would have a giant poster of these boys (suprise it is actually Justin Beiber!... jk jk). Smith Westerns got production value and channeled their inner Bowie. Whats more is their lyrics. They literally sing what every girl wants to hear, "I wanna tell you, you're hard to resist." Swoon....

10. James Blake

Rapture? This whole time I thought you were talking about falcons

So apparently the world is going to begin to end tomorrow... Glad I came back from hiatus just in time to make to one last post. Interestingly the world was also supposed to end like a couple years ago, but a typo or something made it so it is going to end tomorrow instead. This business of impending doom has me thinking, where did this kool aid come from and why are we all wearing matching Nikes? Oh well, I also found a swell song to dance to while hell freezes over or something...

Oh and this....

OH: Original Hipster

So in the previous hipster post it was mentioned that hipsters have a lot in common with people's parents. Well I found this photo, and if you get it, well then you are probably a hipster.
Note: This was taken at an ironic ulgy sweater party

OH

Nothing like the smell of spray paint

Laramie is starting to catch on to the whole urban art trend, and I dig it hardcore. Here are some of my fav's. Hopefully more will show up around town and I can make this a continual post.