Happy St. Bro's Day!

People usually talk shit on Valentine's Day, for good reason, it is a Halmark holiday aimed at getting laid. However, I have a way bigger problem with St. Patrick's Day, or as I see it, St. Bro's Day. Honestly, I have never seen more people act like total ass hats in public than on St. Patrick's excuse me St. Bro's Day. Frat boys dig out a lame ass cliche shirt claiming they are "Lucky" "Irish for the Day" or "Needing attention because I have a tiny dick" (oh wait that last one isn't on a shirt... yet). Obviously being Irish means you get drunk at 10am, work on getting a sexual assault law suit, then talk in a shitty Irish accent. Dudes are not the only one's to blame. Lassies, St. Bro's Day is apparently on par with Halloween for slutty costumes, with slightly less fetishism (sorry, no bizarre sexy mouse outfits) but even less reason to be a ho. News flash, St. Patrick was a dude who lived in the 4th century and was the first bishop of Ireland. Mythology says he drove the snakes from Ireland (apparently snakes were a big deal in the 4th century). He then taught about the Holy Trinity using a three (not four) leaf clover. Also fun fact, a shamrock tattoo is actually a symbol of the Aryan Brotherhood, so when you get drunk and decide that will look awesome, congratulations you're a Nazi. Also, St. Patrick has never actually been canonised (meaning he as much a saint as St. Bro). So eat some sick corned beef and hash (gag), drink a green beer, and bro it up.
Cheers

Drunk+cupcake=St. Patrick's day and mysterious green stains